Uncle Audley considers Mr Brown’s first year in office

I telephoned Uncle Audley the other afternoon to see if had been enjoying Wimbledon only to find him in an uncompromising mood. “First Anniversary this week”, he barked. Startled I wondered which card I had forgotten to buy before he continued.

 

“Brown. Mr Modesty, the chap who always told us as Chancellor what a brain box he was and went missing when trouble was afoot. He hasn’t been able to escape the floodlights in the last 12 months has he now and he hasn’t fared well. Mind you it’s not all his fault. Oil and Energy prices are a problem – as they were for Heath. Got him too when they went through the roof. You won’t remember them though my boy”  (Oh I don’t know I thought remembering primary school without heat and being taught to dance with the girls to keep up our warmth. I woke up to hear Audley still talking) Sorry, Audley what were you saying?

 

“Three day weeks, living by candlelight – I’d get out tomorrow and get a box before they go up as well if I were you. Mind you Heath won more votes than Wilson but lost the 1974 election – I doubt Brown will have the same luck. Fifth in Henley – I ask you. We knew he wouldn’t win but fifth.”

 

I appreciate you’ve never been keen on Mr Brown”

 

“How could I be – he’s never done anything worth praising. Any measure he introduced he removed at a later date, he robbed the utility companies and we have nothing to show for it and he gave the Bank of England independence and they messed up the Northern Rock thing when their first chance to shine appeared. The problem comes from Blair allowing them to be presented as a dream ticket, head and shoulders above the rest of the party, Gordon the only potential successor so that when the time came there was no room for manoeuvre. I reckon most senior Labour figures knew this would happen but were powerless to do anything about it. If they really want to lose the next election they should call it now before too much more damage has been done. The economy is slowing, house prices are falling it looks like it could be grim ahead. That calls for a strong leader. Trouble is – are there any out there?”

 

And with that he was gone, no mention of the tennis at all. I thought about what Audley had said and picked a Dire Straits CD off the rack and put on the title track,

 

You walk out on the high wire 
You're a dancer on thin ice 
You pay no heed to the danger 
And less to advice
Your footsteps are forbidden
But with a knowledge of your sin
You throw your love to all the strangers
And caution to the wind


And you go dancing through doorways
Just to see what you will find
Leaving nothing to interfere
With the crazy balance of your mind
And when you finally reappear
At the place where you came in
You've thrown your love to all the strangers
And caution to the wind

It takes love over gold
And mind over matter
To do what you do that you must
When the things that you hold
Can fall and be shattered
Or run through your fingers like dust