I attended my first December family celebration over the weekend and ended up sitting opposite Uncle Audley. It’s been a while since we had caught up with each other and I must admit to having some fear and trepidation about his thoughts over recent economic events. But things couldn’t have begun more cordially as he greeted everyone with cheery aplomb before enjoying his pre lunch sherry.
However, things started to go downhill as we opened crackers whilst waiting for our main course. They were quite expensive and the traditional joke had been replaced by a “Guess What?”
Audley was quick to ask our end of the table his question; “How many rolls of sellotape is sold in the run up to Christmas? Options A: 4 million B: Lots C: 6 million.”
We all guessed, myself quite feebly at lots before Audley revealed the answer to be “6 million – your turn” looking straight at me.
I read my question, turned it over and put it back onto the table. “Well,” he enquired, “what is it?”
“Nothing really,” I replied determined not to pick it up again.
“Oh come on, dear Boy spit it out” Audley pressed.
“I’d rather not” I responded, “it’s a bit stupid.”
“Ridiculous” came the reply from my sister next to me and she picked up the paper and read out aloud, “What by law is the amount of Christmas bonus paid in Greece, Italy and Spain? Option A: One weeks wages, B: A fiver or C: A months wages.”
“Let’s move on” I said hurriedly before Audley responded, “Please don’t tell me it’s C”
“Well done Uncle that’s brilliant” she replied as I slipped down lower in my chair waiting for a certain explosion. I wasn’t to be disappointed.
“Well that’s the first law that should be changed. Is it any wonder that we see economies out of control with such a low level of restraint?”
“Oh come on Uncle they probably don’t earn much out there for the rest of the year so they get a little extra at Christmas” she replied.
“Well that maybe so my dear but being keen to find excuses for things that are indefensible has led us down this road and may produce lots of tears if things ultimately go wrong in the Euro zone. It’s alright that the markets like the facts that new leaders have taken over in Greece and Italy but once they start introducing the policies needed to turn things around how long are they going to last?
You cannot change a Nation’s culture in a minute and that’s what it will take to increase the tax revenues of those Countries suffering difficulties and I just cannot believe the people can afford lower net pay and continue as is.
The tragedy is that the economy of our area which is probably one of the best in the UK at the moment should be affected by something so far away. What difference should this make to us?
In my opinion there is far too much information in the World and it’s all too instant. For example, do I really need to know what is happening to the Nikkei as I eat my breakfast each day? If the UK market did not know what had happened how would it react? Would it be more stable or more volatile? I doubt the latter somehow. And this must work the other way too. So if we had little information maybe both would be more stable so therefore information makes for turbulence.”
“But understanding the global world is important for us all, isn’t it?” she ploughed on.
“That’s the modern day thought but is it really right? We are encouraged to think big rather than local. Let’s look at today, we’ve all travelled a distance to meet up with each other and that’s lovely but in my day making a decision to move somewhere for work isolated you and you had to plan for weeks to travel this distance. Because of that planning cost would become an issue and without credit cards you’d have to save up and have spare money in case of problems.
These days we agree to things without a thought get up in the morning and jump in the car. We don’t appear to consider the price of fuel and with cards any problem can supposedly be overcome. But later on we realise we can’t pay it all back – or that’s how it seems. I hope that you’ve all been sensible and don’t owe lots of money?”
“Oh come on Uncle” she said, “don’t be so depressing lets talk about something else. What expensive presents are you wishing for this Christmas?”
Oh dear I thought here we go again…….
Those of us Lambert Chapman Partners who took up the offer have to admit, “We love our iPad’s!” It all began at the UK200Group final ceremony for the “Not The Olympic Challenge” when we saw our then President Colin Howe of Hillier Hopkins taking pictures of the Olympic Stadium using his iPad.
